There are many big decisions we will make in life but one of the biggest revolves around our wedding day. Weddings are not as simple as they were many years ago, they are complex animals that often take on a life of their own.
Sometimes, we may even feel under pressure to have the biggest and best wedding that we possibly can even if it comes at a cost. That is what the woman who was planning her wedding felt when her fiancé pressured her to ask her parents for money.
It was a difficult situation, and it probably felt like a make-it-or-break-it deal. How would they handle it? Read the story to find out for yourself.
I’m not a wedding person. So I think it’s a little hard to wrap my head around why my fiancé is so upset, so I am looking for an impartial opinion.
My fiancé has ideas for some big grand wedding. It means a lot to him, and while I would prefer to just elope, I am doing my best to research everything and plan an amazing wedding.
I’m not poor, and neither is my fiancé. We can afford quite a substantial wedding as is, just not the big fancy venue he was hoping for. He asked what my parents were going to contribute.
Here’s the thing – my parents do have a bit of a wedding fund saved up, but they’ve been under a huge amount of financial strain lately. Last year, my dad had a heart attack, and this year my mom had surgery. Now their house is having issues that come with a hefty bill. When I told my parents about the engagement, they mentioned the wedding fund, and I told them that I would love it if they spent it on the house, and their comfort would mean a lot more than a wedding upgrade.
When I told my fiancé this, he got very upset with me, saying that it’s his decision too, and just because I’m the bride doesn’t mean I’m entitled to make all the decisions for the wedding. I don’t disagree with him, but I didn’t want to drag my parent’s finances into it. He wants me to go back and ask for the money, but I refused. I think we can have an amazing wedding without it.
AITA?
EDIT: Nothing’s been booked, no other decisions have been made. The only decision I made was that I told my parents to use the money for something else and told my fiancé I would not be asking for it.
UPDATE: We had a long conversation this morning about everything. Fiancé agreed that he was the AH and apologized for everything. He’s offered to scale back the wedding entirely. His family has been putting a lot of pressure on him to have the splashiest wedding and it sounds like they’re not going to contribute as much as they did with his sister’s. They’re the ones who pushed that this venue is a “must”. My fiancé told me that he spent last night realizing that he wants this wedding for US and not just do what his family demands, and he feels horribly guilty for getting mad about my parents’ money. He only wishes I told him, not because he thought he deserved to make the decision, but because he felt as if I’ve been keeping it a secret from him. He said that we can elope if I want to, but I know he still wants a big wedding for his family so we’re looking at options in the middle that’ll make us both happy!
