The night feels dangerous in all the right ways. You tell yourself you’re in control, that this is just fun, just a moment, just a body against yours in the dark. But when the sun comes up, the truth hits harder than any hangover
You start to understand that the real ache isn’t about them, but about the version of yourself you abandoned to feel chosen for a few hours. Every glance at your phone becomes a test you keep failing, waiting for a message that can’t rewrite what happened or what it cost you inside. You replay conversations, searching for signs you ignored, red flags you painted gold because loneliness felt heavier than regret ever could.
Over time, you stop romanticizing the chaos. You realize that being wanted and being valued are not the same thing, and that intensity without care is just another way to bleed. You begin to choose slower replies, clearer boundaries, quieter nights. You learn to sit with your own company without needing someone else’s hands to make you feel real. And eventually, the story stops hurting—it just becomes proof that you finally know what you deserve.