I was nine years old when my mom took me to the social worker’s office and left me there. She said she’d be back in a few days after she got some things sorted out. I waited.
When I was eleven, I sent her a birthday card. It came back with “Return to sender” stamped on the envelope.
The social worker told me she had moved. No forwarding address. By thirteen, I stopped hoping she’d come back. I’d lived in five different foster homes by then. I’m twenty-nine now, married with kids. I’ve built a life that feels nothing like the one I came from. Two days ago, I opened the front door and saw a woman holding a grocery bag. She said she baked cookies. “For you,” she said.
I blinked at her. Her hair was streaked with silver, her hands shaking just slightly as she extended the bag. She looked familiar in a way I couldn’t place. I stepped aside. “Uh, thanks… come in, I guess.”
She hesitated, then stepped inside like she’d been welcomed before. She set the bag down on my kitchen counter. “I know I have no right,” she said softly. “But I baked these for my daughter.”
For a moment, I thought she was talking about someone else. “Your… daughter?” I asked, cautious.
Her eyes met mine, and I saw it then—an exact echo of my own eyes. The tilt of her jaw. The curve of her smile. My stomach dropped. “Mom?” I whispered.
Tears welled in her eyes. “I… I didn’t know how to be a mom. I was scared. I made mistakes… terrible mistakes.” Her voice broke, but she tried to steady it. “I’ve tried to find you for years. I thought… I thought it was too late.”
I wanted to slam the door. I wanted to ask a thousand questions, scream at her, cry, rage. But I couldn’t. Something in me—a small, stubborn part of me—wanted to hear her out.
We sat at the kitchen table, and she poured tea into mismatched mugs. I noticed her hands again, how they trembled as she reached for the sugar. I remembered trembling hands too, back when I was nine, alone in a tiny room, waiting for someone who’d never come.
She told me about the life she’d had. How she’d been young, lost, and scared of her own failures. How she’d gotten into drugs and couldn’t keep a job. How she’d tried, over and over, to find me but each lead ended in heartbreak.
“Why now?” I asked, finally. “After twenty years?”
She shrugged, wiping a tear from her cheek. “Because I saw a picture of you in a newspaper… your kids. And I realized life doesn’t give second chances, not without asking for forgiveness.”
I didn’t know what forgiveness looked like. Did it mean hugging her? Ignoring the past? I wasn’t sure.